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Author Topic: Shenmue Battle Thread  (Read 6936 times)

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Offline The Hazuki Legacy

Shenmue Battle Thread
« on: July 20, 2014, 10:55:46 PM »
Shenmue inspired forum game time! Here's how it works:


1) I post the name of a character
2) You post the name of a character who could beat that person up, under certain circumstances (the funnier the better).
3) Next person replies naming another character who could beat up the previous character under new circumstances.


And so on.

So I'll start with ... Tom!

Offline James

Re: Shenmue Battle Thread
« Reply #1 on: July 20, 2014, 11:22:48 PM »
Wang Guang Ji from Ajiichi Chinese Restaurant could beat up Tom by expertly tampering with the recipe of his hot dogs, causing him to be distracted by complaining customers, allowing Guang Ji to throw a Jet Cola can at the back of Tom's head (so long as someone buys him the cola first).

Offline xiuying hong is brill

Re: Shenmue Battle Thread
« Reply #2 on: July 21, 2014, 02:58:31 AM »
Rumiko Ishiwatari the local police informant could snitch up Guang ji and get him done for public disorder or something.

Offline Shenmue Stare

Re: Shenmue Battle Thread
« Reply #3 on: July 21, 2014, 03:37:58 AM »
Akira Nagai, the boss of Nagai industries, the local Yakuza group, knows Rumiko Ishiwatari has been spying on him for the police and sets up a trap for her.

So she gets stuck in the infamous "Yakuza Chocolate, Shoes, Puppies, and Molasses" trap and can't move. Nagai takes advantage of this by sitting on her face and giving her what has come to be known as Nagai's ultimate move, "The Secret Scent of Success".

Afterward he bails out Wang Guang Ji and pulls a similar trap on him as well, except this time he uses the old, yet endearing "Yakuza Sneaky Soda Shake" movesets. Thus gaining revenge for his friend Tom's defeat at his hands.

Offline jameswalker85

Re: Shenmue Battle Thread
« Reply #4 on: July 21, 2014, 06:01:30 AM »
Motoyuki Aoki of Funny Bear Burgers has been watching Nagai get his own way and abuse Dobuita's patrons for far too long. Not only that, but he's sick of being intimidated for free food. One day, when one of Nagai's henchmen comes to order lunch for everyone, Aoki adds a secret ingredient to the food; super-strength laxatives.

Soon, he sees guys running out to find extra toilets. Satisfied that they are all heavily distracted, he shoves a peg on his nose and takes the baseball bat he keeps beneath the counter over to Nagai Industries. He runs up the stairs, kicking ass all the way to Nagai's office, where he finds Nagai squatting over the bowl with what looks like sheer terror on his face.

When Aoki leaves, nobody can even tell who Nagai is, let alone how he was feeling.